When I first came to deviantART, I "borrowed" my best friend's old/spare account , TitexSoul,as I was not yet allowed to have my own accounts online (by my parents, though I was age-appropriate as defined by deviantART's rules). There, I started posting my very first finished comic. Posting it online pushed me to actually finish it, and I am still very proud. Later, I got internet at my own home and started my own account here where I posted art related to Tite-Soul's fan stories she called "COMPASS," which is where Nasika comes from.
Things eventually fell apart between Tite-chan and I. After that, I was really confused. I made this account as a sort of sister account to hers, posting art from Nasika's side of her story (us having made Nasika together to be a close shadow of myself). I also stopped with the NasuSasu artwork as well since that was a pairing that Tite had fabricated since Sasuke was my favorite anime character (not that I was in reality attracted to him) so that my character could have a love interest like hers and our third friend's (Hinaara). The series of Naruto went from being my favorite to a very soar spot from then on. The end of our friendship caused me a lot of pain, but sometime things are best left as memories. While trying to sort out what to do then, I started to post art unrelated to COMPASS and began morphing this account into my own domain.
Near the end of Tite and my friendship, I entered Tea-Academy to get practice RPing since that was something that Tite liked to do and she thought that I wasn't good at. I wanted to get better so that I could do it with her. After things fell apart, I stayed at Tea-Academy and made a new arc of Nasika's story from there where she finds many friends (as I did too) and she found love in someone better for her.
I too found what I thought was love in someone around the same time. We spent nearly every moment we could together for 3 years, even while it started as a long-distance relationship and I only saw him twice a year. Eventually, he moved to my city and I saw him every week! I was so happy, but naive.
During our relationship, I was my happiest at first. I had felt like I'd finally gotten my life together, knew what I wanted, and was at my most productive. I ended up accepting his request of a lifetime's commitment, but that wasn't enough for him. This picture was leading up to the crumble of it all. I had been so severely sick for so long, I had to do something to stop the questions that were causing the stress that was killing me. I never expected the extent of horror the truth was. That was a very rocky end, to say the least.
There were a lot of bad things going on then. People trying to hurt me, people betraying me, not to mention my horrid health continuing on. I didn't know who to trust anymore. Even people I considered close friends used me and hurt me terribly. I ran away to another state, I stopped going online, and all I wanted was to "curl up in my shell" and be left alone, and safe.
I had a long fight with suicidal depression in which my character Rem and I bonded. I produced very little art at all then, which hurt me deeply, but Rem-baby helped me when I could manage. He also fights his own demons, and he is a good boy that doesn't deserve them. <3
While I know that, even to this day, I still sound like a broken record, but I do have some friends that stuck by me the whole time, and I treasure them deeply, even ones that I've only met here. *wink, wink* While my friends list was small to begin with, and even smaller still, I still feel loved. Thank you, sweeties. <3 <3 <3
I adore deviantART and all its seen me through, gotten me through, encouraged me to do, and allowed me to.
(Say that 5 times fast~)
Things have gotten much better. None of it's been forgotten, but I am blessed to have all the support that the community gives me. ;u; Even though I'm not the most popular or amazing deviant out there~ I'm still glad for this little piece that is mine.
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